I see the same spider
I saw yesterday
on the floor.
I swat her away,
gently changing her course.
She lands on the bed
and I’m reminded,
I often make matters
worse. The bed is my dream,
my own cave, arousing me
like the real caves arouse Cai.
I’m beginning to understand
how desiring
myself
makes me desirable
to others.
Now, when I remember
conversations with girlfriends
about masturbation,
the way they spoke about it
makes sense.
Although it seems
I have to press harder than them.
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