Saturday, February 2, 2019

Missing all the girls I’ve loved

Of course the one time I wasn’t depressed was in a fantasy
Land filled with girl.
The mailwoman who has the only other key to my private locker.
The girl with the kitty cat smile, slicked back pony with one rebellious tuft.

Missing the romance moment that I never had
The sober one
The sleepover.
Instead of
Flared ribs jutting out of a black leotard
With each breath, laid
On a hardwood floor covered in itchy carpeting
The same brand of tobacco and beer
Swimming between our mouths,
Pretending I was as wild as she.

Promising boys I’d kiss them when Dr. removed my braces.
Blaming the retainer’s potential to fall out. I can’t waste all of this money
my parents spent for straight teeth.
Talking to Kayla years later, we lament our cute tooth imperfections,
and I wonder if we’re really talking about kissing girls.
Everything would have turned out better for us
if you still had your gap

and my right canine still overlapped with its neighbor.

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